The Monica Bird

YOU COULDN’T RESIST IT? IN THE END? A MISTAKE, I FANCY.
He touched the scythe. There was a click as the blade flashed into life.
IT GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN, LIFE, said Death, stepping forward. SPEAKING
METAPHORICALLY, OF COURSE. IT’S A HABIT THAT’S HARD TO GIVE UP. ONE PUFF OF BREATH IS NEVER ENOUGH. YOU’LL FIND YOU WANT TO TAKE ANOTHER.
A dog started to slip on the snow and scrabbled desperately to save itself from the long,cold drop.
AND, YOU SEE, THE MORE YOU STRUGGLE FOR EVERY MOMENT, THE MORE ALIVE YOU STAY… WHICH IS WHERE I COME IN, AS A MATTER OF FACT.
The leading dog managed, for a moment, to become a grey led figure before being dragged back into shape.
FEAR, TOO, IS AN ANCHOR, said Death. ALL THOSE SENSES, WIDE OPEN TO
EVERY FRAGMENT OF THE WORLD. THAT BEATING HEART. THAT RUSH OF
BLOOD. CAN YOU NOT FEEL IT, DRAGGING YOU BACK?
Once again the Auditor managed to retain a shape for a few seconds, and managed to say: you cannot do this, there are rules!
YES. THERE ARE RULES. BUT YOU BROKE THEM. HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU?
The scythe blade was a thin blue outline in the grey light.
Death raised a thin finger to where his lips might have been, and suddenly looked thoughtful.
AND NOW THERE REMAINS ONLY ONE FINAL QUESTION, he said.
He raised his hands, and seemed to grow. Light flared in his eye sockets. When he spoke next,
avalanches fell in the mountains.
HAVE YOU BEEN NAUGHTY… OR NICE?
HO. HO. HO

‘They want to kill the Hogf—-‘
NOT KILL. HE KNOWS HOW TO DIE. OH, YES… IN THIS SHAPE, HE KNOWS HOW TO DIE. HE’S HAD A LOT OF EXPERIENCE. NO, THEY WANT TO TAKE AWAY HIS REAL LIFE, TAKE AWAY HIS SOUL, TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING. THEY MUST NOT
BE ALLOWED TO BRING HIM DOWN.
‘Well, stop them!’
YOU MUST. THIS IS A HUMAN THING.

‘I can’t ride that!’ said Susan.
WHY NOT? YOU HAVE HAD AN EDUCATION.
‘Enough to know that pigs don’t let people ride them!’
MERE ACCUMULATION OF OBSERVATIONAL EVIDENCE IS NOT PROOF.

Under the table the Blue Hen of Happiness relieved itself on the Bursar’s foot.
THERE ARE… ENEMIES, said Death, as Binky galloped through icy mountains.
‘They’re all dead-‘
OTHER ENEMIES. YOU MAY AS WELL KNOW THIS. DOWN IN THE DEEPEST
KINGDOMS OF THE SEA, WHERE THERE IS NO LIGHT, THERE LIVES A TYPE OF CREATURE WITH NO BRAIN AND NO EYES AND NO MOUTH. IT DOES NOTHING BUT LIVE AND PUT FORTH PETALS OF PERFECT CRIMSON WHERE NONE ARE THERE TO SEE. IT IS NOTHING EXCEPT A TINY YES IN THE NIGHT. AND YET… AND YET… IT HAS ENEMIES THAT BEAR ON IT A VICIOUS, UNBENDING MALICE, WHO WISH NOT ONLY FOR ITS TINY LIFE TO BE OVER BUT ALSO THAT IT HAD NEVER EXISTED. ARE YOU WITH ME SO FAR?
‘Well, yes, but-‘
GOOD. NOW, IMAGINE WHAT THEY THINK OF HUMANITY